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“You're a real bartender right.” The bar was quiet. Now everyone was staring at us.“Ahh… yeah. I bartend.” I was getting a little pissed at this pretentious bitch. I kept my smile and swigged my beer. I shook my head.“I challenge you to shots of Jose.”“Oooooh the bar,” roared“Look what the hell would that prove? Doing shots of…” My mind froze. I stopped mid-sentence.A little background is necessary here. Jose Cuervo and I used to be really good friends. We hung out often. One night a few years back, Jose and I had a battle. I didn’t realize I was fighting this battle. Jose did and he kicked my ass. Over the next few days, I recovered from Jose’s ass-whooping. It was not easy. Jose and I don’t hang out anymore. Never. This is a well-known fact by several people that I have gone drinking with. One of those people was Jackie, the manager of this bar.“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue or is ya scared?” She taunted me. The bar started clucking. A half dozen or so people. Somehow, he managed to roll over onto his side, put his legs off the side of the bed, and lever himself upright.If he'd thought he'd hurt before, the vertical pressure on his bladder and from his eyeballs falling out of their sockets gave him real physical pain. The choice was clear -- either try to get up and find the bathroom, or just let it go. He decided that he'd better try. "Jeez, I must have drunk a lot last night," he thought.Fortunately, there was a chair next to the bed, and after three tries, he managed to use it to get to his feet, and fortunately, there was a door frame he could hold on to while he tried to get his bearings. "The bathroom has got to be that way," he thought.The bathroom was, and there, asleep and snoring loudly in the middle of the floor, was the Red Baron. The thought crossed his mind that Jackie had to have tied on a pretty good one, too, but mainly his thoughts were on the toilet. He spent an amazingly long time fumbling for his zipper before he.
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